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‘How I Met Your Mother’: That’s Nice. Now Who’s The Mother?

After watching the season premiere of “How I Met Your Mother” on Monday, I realized that I’ll most likely find the mother of my future children before Ted Mosby does (Vegas actually has me going off at 4-to-2 odds).

Then again, all I have to deal with is fate, chemistry, luck, mathematical probability and guys who have great abs, like Robin’s new boyfriend.

Ted, on the other hand, has to deal with a show that refuses to get to the point.

Monday’s season premiere, “Farhampton,” picked up right where we left off – sort of. At first, everything happened in the future … and then in the past … and then in the future again? Honestly, I don’t know. I get confused watching “Survivor.”

But what I do know is that we were once again given an episode with a lot of interesting plot points that – thanks to “HIMYM” being its own spoiler alert – didn’t go anywhere.

Going through last season’s greatest “possibly-The-Mother” hits of Victoria, The Slutty Pumpkin, Robin and somehow Victoria again was at times as burdensome as actually talking to one’s own mother (just kidding Ma, love you!). I mean, sure, it served the show’s ultimate purpose, but it overshadowed some of the other intriguing occurrences.

For example, the plotline of Marshall and Lily having a baby (also known as a “greatest middle name of all time” nominee, Marvin “Waitforit” Erickson) and Barney getting engaged were all just footnotes in the search to get to The Mother of all “HIMYM” answers.

And now, at the start of a fresh season, we get an episode with more footnotes:

“Lily and Marshall are soooo tired that they’re basically under-the-sea zombies! Hilarious, right?” [Don’t care, get to the Mother.]

“How about Ted sitting at a train station in the future where we see a woman with a yellow umbrella who could maybe, possibly be the Mother?” [Blank stare.]

See what I mean?

The explanation Victoria’s runaway groom, Klaus, gave to Ted on how Victoria is “almost the thing you want but not quite” was fitting. It was a great moment, but it’s also pretty much what “HIMYM” is right now. It’s “almost the thing you want but not quite.”

Yet, I still hold hope that we’ll find that “lifelong treasure of destiny” sooner rather than later.

‘How I Met Your Mother’ Season 9?

In case there was ever any doubt: CBS is working on having How I Met Your Mother return for a ninth season.

President of CBS Entertainment Nina Tassler today confirmed ongoing negotiations that would give the comedy another season. “They know we want the show to come back next year, and we’re having conversations right now about extending it,” she said. “We’re in early conversations and we’re pretty optimistic.”

News of a possible season 9 does not come as a surprise; creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas have previously said their plans could extend beyond the eighth season, which premieres Sept. 24. “They had an incredible year last year, and we’ve got a great relationship with Craig and Carter,” said Tassler.

In other comedy news (SPOILER ALERT!), Tassler later spilled on the second season of 2 Broke Girls, which will find the financially strapped pair, played by Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs, opening up their cupcake shop! “They are going to open up the cupcake business — without the help of Martha Stewart, I might add,” she said. “It’s more about the business and how that impacts the relationship.”

Allyson Hannigan: “I’m Not Pregnant,” I Just “Need to Do Cardio”

She’s pregnant with a food baby!

Allyson Hannigan was the subject of pregnancy speculation over the weekend — but it’s a false alarm!

On Friday, the How I Met Your Mother actress, 37, was photographed hitting the Malibu Chili Cook Off and carnival with husband Alexis Denisof and Satyana, their 2-year-old daughter. Wearing a loose-fitting top, Hannigan seemed to be sporting a noticeable baby bump.

“NO, I’m not pregnant!” Hannigan Tweeted Sunday. “I just ate too much carnival food, that time of the month, hurt my back & couldn’t suck my gut in, and need to do cardio!”

She added of her less-than-flattering look: “And I’m NEVER gonna wear that shirt again!!!”

The good-natured star wasn’t even annoyed at the assumptions, either.

“I do LOOK pregnant in that photo!” she admitted.

Plus, she had a great time at the Malibu carnival — where her little girl Satyana won a goldfish.

“The carnival was really fun! And Sati won a goldfish on her 2nd try! Put my ping pong throwing skills to shame.”

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